The Nine Rules of Life

1. Lock your doors at night, or don't complain when someone robs you.
2. Speed up at yellow lights to ensure everyones safety.
3. Only drink and drive on Tuesdays.
4. Show up to school on time or face the wrath of a sharp dressed man.
5. Don't write inappropiate blogs.
6. Never argue with your mother when she tells you you're best friend will be pregnant by 15.
7. If you're going to try and drink through your nose, make sure it's water and not a liquid that burns.
8. Don't live in a playhouse.
9. DON'T PROVOKE A BEAR WHEN DRUNK!

What caused this urgent message? SOMEONE PROVOKED A BEAR WHEN THEY WERE DRUNK.

I applaud them. They had the courage that not many people do. Granted, that courage was caused by high levels of alcohol, but that shouldn't matter.

Of course, the genius who provoked this bear at the Lincoln Park Zoo is now suing because she lost some fingers. Big deal.

Her case will continue to be pending until she is released from the drunk tank at the county jail? Or is Mifflin County the only place that has drunk tanks?

Hmm...I'll research it!

I hope we all learned a valuable lesson here.