HELLo

I think I should delete this blog.

But I'd probably rot in hell if I did.

The Final Countdown

Is it or is it not sad that I am occupying my studyhall time by blogging? I just have nothing else to do. I can only stare at a blank screen for so long before my mind begins to deteriorate. Hmm, what to blog about today my cyber friends, that is the question.

Well, to start off, I learned that Jorge is a bigger idiot than originally thought. Example: "Hey Tara, can I use your locker today?" "But Jorge, my dear friend, you have your own locker." "Yeah but I forgot the key to mine. I don't have a regular lock because I am unable to open them." "I spoze'." "Nah nevermind."

Boy just doesn't trust me.

My day is always better when I laugh the first ten minutes I am inside this horrific building.

I went to the OIP on Saturday and had egglant parmesan. Last time I was there with Fred she got it and made me promise that I would get it the next time I was there. I did. I liked it. I was surprised. But the best part was calling Sharona, Sharonuh Molly at her workplace.

I'm running out of things to write about and I still have over thirty minutes left of this period.

I guess I could talk about how there is only ten days left of my high school career, but that wouldn't be any fun. I'm not going to miss this place. I may miss the people I see everday in this place, but that's about it. And hey, there's always facebook to stay connected.

Oh I know! I just filled out my roommate paper and mailed it in. It's due Wednesday. I'm on top of things! I found some of the questions on there a bit weird.

"What side of the bed do you sleep on?"

"If your boyfriend/girlfriend sleeps over, do they sleep in your bed?"

"How many alcholic beverages do you consume in a week?"

Of course there were the normal questions, too. I got my housing number and am now just waiting to see who my other three roommates will be. I guess I'll find out in a month or so. Then we can plan on who brings what, etc.

TWENTY MINUTES!

I got a summer job! Same place I was last year and I'm glad. I was able to make 1,500$ in six weeks, so I'm hoping to do the same this year. The original plan was to save it for books at college, but the "assistance" (aka relief) office is paying for books, gas, and the meal plan. I find that to be a good thing. More people should do it. So that just gives me more money to blow on useless things. I might just even put some away for the Meat Loaf and U2 concerts instead of making my mom pay.

Down to fifteen minutes!!

Central Penn sent me a paper asking me where I would like to intern during my third year down there. They said it's not official but they like to get a general idea of their student's interests. They gave me a lot of options to choose from. Most were in PA, but there were quite a few outside of state, too. Apparently Disney World is an option. There were places in New York, Florida, D.C, and...yep, you guessed it, Arizona. I had to mark three options. I'm still yelling at myself for picking two that were in Pennsylvania. Philadelphia and Harrisburg, and then I marked New York. I don't know if I could handle being in an unfamiliar state with no one I know around me, but it's worth a try. I'll probably get Philidelphia because that's the one I least want.

TEN MINUTES!

I'm out of things to say.

If you made it this far, let me know and I'll pay you ten dollars.

SEVEN MINUTES!

MLKJ Pt 2

I was going to enter a catchy song in this blog and change the words to it, but I'm not feeling it right now. I knew I should have just stayed home. I can already tell today is going to suck and I've only been here forty minutes.

BUT I WILL RAMBLE!

I saw on the news this morning that people are trying to pass a law where you...CAN'T SING PATRIOTIC SONGS IN PUBLIC IN FEAR OF OFFENDING......FOREIGNERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY?

I will sing what I want, when I want, where I want. I'm going to walk through the streets of Miami where most illegals immigrate to, and sing God Bless America. Sure, I'll probably be shot/stabbed/stranged/kidnapped/beat to death, but It'll all be worth it in the end.

Because I'll be known as the white Martin Luther King.

Over Achiever!

I opted to take classes through breaks in Central Penn so I finish a year sooner. It'll be more work and less time to myself and people around me, but it's what I want. Instead of taking spring breaks and a long extended summer break, I'll just continue with my classes. It'll save me money and time. I signed and mailed in the papers yesterday, so there's no turning back. I'm a little worried with whether or not I can handle the workload.

I guess only time will tell.

Pet Peeve

I hate procrastonators. They drive me nuts. Why do they feel the need to put everything off? Seriously. I never realized my intense hatred for it until yesterday. You don't wait six days to do something that could have been done a week ago. It's sad when something starts bothering me and I take initiative to get it done.

Put A Sock In It

There are some people in this world that shouldn't be allowed to speak. Such as:

1. People in second period.
2. Teacher in second period.
3. Kristin.
4. My sister.
5. Sharona.


My school day would be so much better if said people were mute.

Tara for Class Historian!

I'm not big on reunions.

Family reunions, school reunions, work reunions, death reunions...I'm just not into it.

I do not see the point in them. Catching up with people and seeing who they are married to and looking at hundreds of pictures of their kids is just not something I care about. Each year I am forced to go to my own family reunion. I don't mind it as much now that I am older. I am able to appreciate the humor.

They drink. They play poker. They argue. We all go home.

In ten years will I come back to my high school reunion?

Probably, it's all part of my plan to be Class Historian!

Mrs. Tara Hamlet

I was listening to Phish last night and came to the realization that I don't listen to them enough. So that prompted todays topic: Tara's Top Ten Bands/artists.

1. Aerosmith. I always say I'm not sure if I loved Joe Perry or Aerosmith first, but I don't think it really matters. And even though they cancelled their show in Hershey and broke my heart, I still vow to one day see them in concert.

2. Metallica- I was introduced to Metallica at a young age. The love is still there between us.

3. Guns N' Roses- Yeah...since the first time I heard Axl belt out "Hey hey hey hey yeahhh" after the first verse in Knockin' On Heaven's Door...el oh vee ee

4. Foo Fighters- Their songs All My Life and Everlong I could listen to over and over agian on repeat. Their album Colour and Shape ranks up there on the list of greatest albums ever made..in my opinion.

5. Meat Loaf- Greatest. Singer. Ever. Nuff' said.

6. The Temptations- They were a little (25 years) before my time, but I grew up listening to them because of my mom, and over the years developed a love for them. Seriously, Papa Was A Rolling Stone = their best song.

7. Pearl Jam- Could be because I thought Eddie Vedder was hot, or could be because I love their songs. Why Go is probably my favorite song from them.

8. David Bowie- Dude, Bowie is uh-may-zing. Ashes to Ashes...Fame...Lets Dance...Modern Love..how do you pick a favorite Bowie song?

9. U2- They only made the list because I walk around singing "She Moves in Mysterious Ways" all the time. No, but really, I have to thank Rhonda for introducing me to them because they really are amazing.

10. Stone Temple Pilots- I hate Scott Weiland. I love Scott Weiland's voice.

Honorable Mentions* Toby Keith, Snoop Dogg, The Eagles, The Doors, The Ramones, Heart, and The Bee Gees.

I want to live in a coffin too

An ovatin goes to:

The woman in Juniata county who hid in a coffin to avoid the police.

I have to give her props for being able to handle being in one. I could never do it. I'd be freaking out the moment I got into it. Not only did she hide ino one, but she closed the casket lid. Four hours in a coffin with the lid shut is an honorable thing. Instead of being charged with trespassing, she would be given a medal of bravery/honor/scouts award.

Happily Ever After

I found my Rugrats movie collection today. That made me happy.

I saw my science grade today. That made me happy.

I got my English quizzes back today. That made me happy.

I found my lost books today. That made me happy.

I saw Kristin's hair today. That didn't make me happy.

Tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you, tomorrow, tomorrow, it's only a day away

So the news wasn't as bad as originally thought.

Same thing, different part.

I planned on having a productive night, but that just turned into hanging out with a few friends and getting chinese food.

I'd just like to take a minute to inform you all that tomorrow is spelled exactly like that..tomorrow. Not: tamarrow, tomarrow, tamorrow, 2marrow, 2morrow.

Tomorrow.

Is it that hard?

T-O-M-M-O-R-O-W

UPDATE
....

I spelled it wrong and none of you mentioned it. So much for life lessons in spelling. You people all fail.

I got chills, they're multiplying

I've just recently learned some heart-wrenching news that I feel the need to share with my millions of loyal followers:

Next week is the last week of blogging.

For some reason or another, Dictator said we are done.

Now, I could stop blogging and leave you all hanging, but we know that won't happen.

This means 3 things:

1. I can repost all my good blogs that I was forced against my will (rape) to delete.
2. I can then begin swearing profusely (not that I will, but I have the option).
3. I can leave mean comments on Val's blog!

Who's excited as me?

Proud American!

Hey Cinco De Mayo:

I'M WEARING AN AMERICAN FLAG SHIRT? WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

Kick me out of my own country?

I think it is a disgrace that white American students are being punished for wearing their country's colors on a day to celebrate another countries holiday.

Don't like the American flag? Get out.

Simple as that.

It would not bother me at all if every single Hispanic, Mexican, Asian, or Indian, living in the confines of the United States were banned.

I'd applaud it.

Maybe then I could say Merry Christmas without being punished.

Gambling > Proper Child Care

I do not understand why a mother would lose her baby for letting the little brat sit inside the car while she went and gambled at a Las Vegas casino. I happen to think she was very responsible. Think about it, she could have took the baby inside with her and let it witness all the sinning and corruption that takes place inside casinos.

The child was in the car sleeping, so it's not like it would remember this anyway. The economy is rough; not everyone can afford a babysitter. This woman's money was wisely spent at a casino, in hopes that she would win big so she could provide a better life for her child.

Honestly, I don't see what she did wrong.

I mean, the car doors were locked.

hey hey hey hey

Ya'll read way too much into things.

Time After Time

23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days. 23 days.

So, there are only 23 days of school left.

I'll get excited when there are maybe 5 or so days left

Dear Time, please hurry up and pass.

Yum

I decided it was time I one up Sam and post my favorite sexiest men of all time. I didn't stick just to actors, though. I branched out to musicians, too.



1. Vince Vaughn- Sure, he is fat and balding now, but he manages to pull it off.

2. Joshua Jackson- He was my first celebrity crush back when I was like 10. I guess I just have a soft spot for him.

3. Joe Perry- I'm not sure if I fell in love with Aerosmith or Joe Perry first. Dude's got some mad guitar skills.

4. Marlon Brando- I love his movie On The Waterfront! His looks aren't bad either.

5. Ben Affleck- Saw him for the first time on Armageddon and loved him.

6. Axl Rose- Really, does this surprise anyone given my obsession with the man?

7. Tom Hanks- I don't love him so much for his looks as I do his voice!

Another Round Of Applause Goes To:

Once in a while there are stories out there that do nothing but warm my heart. I think those stories need to be honored, so I decided to do another installment of AROAGT.

Rhonda- I applaud you on saving your dog. Way to throw yourself in front of a large bus in order to save your dog!

Immigrant Soldiers- I applaud the immigrant soldiers who spoke out against the new immigration laws. I agree, I think we should let ANY foreigner into our country. No need to hassle them or force them to get greencards.

Rhonda- I applaud you for sticking a pen through your ear. It takes great courage to do something like that, but you pulled it off!

Pocatello Church- I applaud you immensely for your courageous act. Not many churches would bless over a 100 bikers, but you did! Next on your list should be Hells Angels!

Rhonda- I applaud you for coming to school today. Not only that, but you came to school on time and without any trace of nicotine in your posession.

Iraq- I applaud you for allowing a flight to finally land in London for the first time in over twenty years, and you even did it without bombing anything! Great job!

Rhonda- I applaud you for getting pulled over last week. I applaud you for not only getting pulled over, but for getting pulled over for something that wasn't speeding. You've surprised me yet again.

Shakespeare- I applaud you on writing the great play known as Hamlet. I didn't think I could love anything more than I loved Macbeth, but you proved me wrong. I go to sleep at night dreaming about Hamlet and wondering what is going to happen in the next scene. For that, I thank you.

Three Wishes...plus a bonus

I wish...

I wish it was October
I don't want to be in this town anymore. I want to get away and stay away, and that isn't going to happen until October 4. Seriously, I wish I signed up to start college in the summer. It would have been such a wise decision but at the time I was in the thought process of "I want one last free summer at home." I now no longer want one last summer at home. Summerdale is becoming more and more appealing each day.

I wish I had money
I guess the wise decision here would be to go out and get a job, but I can't. If I do, mom 1/4 of her montly income and I lose health insurance. I guess turning 18 wasn't the greatest thing on Earth. I then wouldn't have to explain to my best friend why I can't pay for my share of the hotel until the beginning of May. Luckily she understands and doesn't hold a grudge, or if she does she hides it well. I don't mind being poor, but it can be frustrating at times.

I wish I could be as carefree as people think I am
I rarely let things bother me. I take things day by day. I don't plan a head a week, month, or a year. Whatever happens, happens. I believe there is no control over it. But lately I find myself becoming increasingly frustrated with different things. Whether it be school, home, friends, or some other random thing in front of me. I spend more and more time in my room away from human contact that I worry myself. Normally I'm talking nonstop (ask anyone) but now it's rare. I'm hoping it's a seasonal thing and it passes soon.

I wish Brett Michaels a speedy recovery
Brett was my first love, after all. If me, him, and Axl Rose are going to have a long happy relationship together, he needs to get out of the hospital!

Until Then

The last three days have been great. Acutally, this entire week has been great. There is nothing for me to complain about, which is I know, odd.

Now, the odds of these great days continuing for the next few weeks until school ends is slim to none. I just know I'm getting ready to run into someone who's going to bring my mood down!

I purchased a new laptop today, which I desperately needed...since I cracked the screen in my other one over a month ago. I bought some new clothes (sadly, no yellow summer dresses as they were all sold out). Finally paid for my U2 ticket... a day late..but hey, it's paid.

I finished all of my financial aid paperwork on Wednesday, so that's a big stress reliever!

So now, I'm hoping that everything runs smoothly until June 11, then I have a special message for everyone!

Until then....

It's Official

I am a PA lottery winner.

I spent five dollars and won a whopping....30!

Reason #1419743 of why I'm better than you.

To All My Rowdy Followers

IT'S BEEN SO LONG!

To all of my loyal followers and readers, I apologize for my extended absenteeism. Please forgive me for I have sinned.

It's not that I have found something better, (really, what is better than you guys?) it's just that my time has been occupied over the past few days. After getting many worrisome emails on my behalf, I decided it was time to update you all on my current status. I didn't want you all to start making trips to Central PA to track me down and make sure I was alright.

I understand that you all look forward to my blogs everyday, and five days without one is the equivalent of going a month without water. It's your lifeline, your sanctuary, your escape, your heroin.

It was rude of me to just up and leave. I put my own needs about all of yours and that will NEVER EVER happen again. I wouldn't blame any of you if you unfollowed me and found someone else to worship.

For all of you that have read this ridiculous post this far, here is a song I composed for your loyalty:

I 'm all out of blogs, you're so lost without them
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of blogs, what are you without them
I can't be too late to say that I was so amazing at writing them

You want me to come back and write you more blogs
Away from this long lonely nights
I'm reaching for more blogs, are you feeling it too
Does the feeling seem oh so right
And what would you say if I wrote one now
And said that I can't write more
There's no easy way, it gets harder each day
Please love me or I'll be gone, I'll be gone

I 'm all out of blogs, you're so lost without them
I know you were right believing for so long
I 'm all out of blogs, what are you without them
I can't be too late to say that I was so amazing at writing them

Thousand Miles to Paradise

Is it sad that I don't know if I'm more excited to see the U2 concert or the Rocky Statue? I've seen the statue three times in the past, and am looking forward to seeing it a fourth time.

However, I will be traveling with Rhonda and Harrison so the chances of us making it on time are 1441478592735583523753253262 5 to 1.

I'm sure the concert will start at 7:30 so we'll leave Mifflin County at 5, determined to make it to Philly in two hours.

I'll blog about my experience on July 14th, two days after this trip.

Why I Hate People Part 3....

A woman is facing up to 18 months in prison for taping an eight month old puppy upside down to a refrigerator. She had an arguement with her boyfriend and took it out on the dog.

I think she should serve her 18 months taped upside down to a wall in her jail cell.

Then they should uthinize her.

I hate animal cruelty.

Good Things Come to Great People

And lets face it, I'm the greatest person there is.

I mean, really, lets take a look at all of my accomplishments:

1. I've held 3 jobs by 17! I like to experience different jobs to see that I like!
2. I got ALL my friends to stop their bad habits.
3. I composed inspiring masterpieces.

The list goes on and on. I don't have time to sit and list everything.

Today my greatness has been awarded.

Central Penn awarded me a 9,000 dollar scholarship based on my academic excellence!

I have to keep a 3.5 GPA while down there, but hey, I'm used to 4.1's.

Now if only my head would stop throbbing.

Why I hate people part 2...

I think I have a concussion. A heavy toolbox filled with heavy tools fell on my unaware head....twice.

I made the mistake of volunteering to help my sister rearrange her storage unit so she could fit in furniture. We picked up this rusty old toolbox and set it on top of other stacked objects. Well, she let go of her end before it was properly placed, and it proceeded to slide down and land on top of my head.

Then, once we were done rearranging, we had to unstack everything. She couldn't reach her end so she through objects at it like it was just going to gravitate towards her. It didn't. It slid forward, and instead of moving out the way, I tried to catch it so it wouldn't smash the glass stuff laying behind me because I am a nice person. Mistake. It landed squarely on my head and this time even knocked my glasses off my head and sent me for a loop. I saw the birds flying in circles around me.

So now my head is throbbing and it hurts to move.

But don't worry, I learned my lesson.

People Always Ask

"Tara, why do you hate people so much?"

I decided now was the time to tell you why.

A 17 year old boy with a lot of brains got gored by a bull after instigating and calling out to it. The boy suffered a broken arm and a few cuts and bruises.

HE THEN ISSUED HIS REVENGE FOR THE BULL!

They shot the bull, and he and his family plan to eat it for dinner.

I don't know where to start; getting revenge on the bull, or eating it?

If I shot and then ate everything that angered me at one point or another, there would be little left on Earth. It'd be me...my dog....and...uh er....well, that's it.

There you have. I will have another installment of why I hate people at a later date. Stay tuned.

I'm right, as always. Big surprise there. I'm in shock.

The only news stories out there are all about Easter and children dying. I don't care about either one of them, so I have to come up with something else to write about. Well, I was talking to someone and we somehow got on the subject of songs and no matter how many times you hear them, it's hard to sing them by yourself without missing a word. I decided now is the time to see if they were right or not.

I've watched Grease 573290758265826532 times and would bet I know every word to "You're the one that I Want."

Time to test my knowledge!

I got chills, they're multiplying
And I'm losing control, cause the power
You're supplyin', it's electrifyin'

You better shape up (up up up)
Cause I need a man (need a man)
And my heart is set on you

You better shape up
You better understand
That my heart is justified

You're the one that I want (oh oh ohhhh)
The one that I need
oh yes indeeeeeeeeed

If you're filled with affection
You're too shy to convey
Meditate in my direction
Feel your way

You better shape up
I better shap up
Cause I need a man
You need a man
Who can keep me satisfied

I better shape up
If you're gonna prove
I better prove

Are you sure
Yes I'm sure down deep inside

You're the one that I want
The one that I need
Oh yes and deeeeed

REPEAT x3

I am uh-may-zing.

Yummy In The Tummy

You don't know how many times I hear people complaining about seafood menus nothing having enough variety. It usually goes something like this:

Them: This seafood menu sucks.

Me: Amen sista.

Them: It's enough to make me become a vegetarian.

Me: Amen sista

Them: Would it kill them to add on a new sea creature?

Me: Amen sista

Them: I get so sick of eating shrimp and crabs.

Me: Amen sista

Well, now they can't complain anymore. A new sea creature has been found in one of the oceans and it looks yummy yummu yummy! It's called Bathynomus giganteus. Here's a picture! No doubt you'll be ordering it the next time you visit Red Lobster.

Another Blog Bites The Dust

I had to delete the marine blog :(

That brings the count of deleted blogs up to.....7.

Of course when one gets deleted I must write another to take its place . I figured a song was really the only way to go.

Another blog bites the dust
Another blog bites the dust
And another blog gone
And another blog gone
Another blog bites the dust
Hey, shes gonna get you too
Another blog bites the dust


How do you think I'm gonna get along without making me delete blogs
You took me for everything that I had and kicked my blog out on its own
Are you happy? Are you satisfied?
How long can you stand the heat?
Out of the doorway the bullets rip to the sound of the beat (Look out)
Another blog bites the dust
Another blog bites the dust
And another blog gone
And another blog gone
Another blog bites the dust
Hey, she's gonna get you too
Another blog bites the dust



The more blogs dictator makes me delete, the more songs I will post!

I should've stayed home

Why?

1. Rhonda's not here
2. Kelly's not here (Oh don't worry, I'll be there by 3rd period...or uh well maybe not)
3. It's Monday
4. It's hot in this room
5. Val is sitting next to me
6. Period 2 dictator just admitted her love for U2
7. Val is talking
8. Dictator and Val are talking to each other and annoying me
9. I'm being forced to write blogs
0. Jewel is blasting through the stereo

I think all 10 of those reasons are enough for me to have stayed home today.

Wait, I've just thought of a few more:

11. There has been no sighting of my Uncle Gary today
12. I haven't seen any swinging hips today

I am used to seeing both of these early in the morning, and today, I saw neither.

13. Kristin told a kmart story that I was forced to listen to
14. Val is now talking to me
15. Helen burnt my toast today
16. There is now a song playing with the lyrics "Where have all the cowboys gone?"
17. Dictator is talking about tennis balls
18. Toby Keith's next album has been pushed back until June
19. I keep looking at Val's computer screen which is filled with Hank Jr pictures
20. God hates me

Tara-Rist

My tears won't stop falling. My heart won't start breaking. My mouth won't stop singing Proud to be an American. My vision of America won't stop crumbling.

All because American made chocolate is being produced for foreign countries. Recently, a pushy teacher of mine tried to force a piece of this terroristic chocolate down my throat. She simply did not understand why I would refuse to eat it.

Unless it's made IN American FOR Americans, I won't touch it.

He said I was in my early forties
with a lot of chocolate before me
when a moment came that stopped me on a dime
and I spent most of the next days
looking at the candies
Talking bout the options and
talking bout sweet times
I asked him when it sank in
that this might really be the real end (of American chocolate)
how's it hit you when you get that kinda news
man what'd you do

he said I went down to Hershey
I went Rocky Mountain climbing
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named FuManchu
and I loved deeper
and I spoke sweeter
and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying
and he said someday I hope you get the chance
to live like you were eating the last piece of American chocolate

Being Homeless Would Be Easier

I'm sick of filling out scholarships and financial aid papers.

I quit. I give up. I am going to live the rest of my life on the streets collecting money from people who feel bad for me.

I'm constantly frustrated with everything and everyone. They don't even do anything to me and I flip out on them, then I feel bad. I hide it in school fairly well, I believe.

I blame all of this on the college process. I have no patience to do everything it involves to prepare for college. I wish it could just go like this:

1. Apply
2. Get accepted.
3. Pay after you get the degree or forever be damned to hell.

Of course it isn't that simple.

What is simple, however, is dropping out of school, getting a playhouse, and living on the streets. But for now that's only plan B. We'll see how everything goes.

Old School vs New Skewl

On those rare days that I skip school (once every two-three months), and I'm not doing anything important through the day, I just stay home and watch all the old TV shows that play through the morning hours. My favorite one is Little House on the Prairie. It's not the greatest show in the entire world, but I find it interesing.

After Little House, I switch it over to Little Bear. Following that, I tune in to watch Franklin, and on some days I get lucky enough to catch Rugrats.

But as soon as nine o'clock hits, my morning is ruined. Nick then begins playing their new cartoon shows that I have never heard of or seen. These new shows aren't even entertaining. They make me hate my life. I get severely depressed and turn to the bottle....of Pepsi beside me to get me through the day.

It's reasons like this that I don't skip school. My great morning only lasts two hours, then it abruptly ends. Even though I know it is coming, I still can't help but shed a few tears. I often find myself pressing play on my CD player and listening to "I Love This Bar" float through my room. It's the only thing that makes my days off from school worth it.

The day always ends like this:

"Tara, your sure-footed horse needs a walk under the moonlit sky."

Ten Reasons To Love Toby Keith

It has recently been brought to my attention that all the love in the world is going to Lady Gaga. I can't get over this. I stay true to my roots and still worship the same person I did when I was five: Toby Keith. Toby is the epitome of an American hero. There are close to 6 million reasons to love him, but I managed to narrow it down to ten. He's so great that I sometimes confuse him with Jesus. The reasons are as followed:

1. He's patriotic

2. His cowboy hat

3. His song "I Love This Bar"

4. He brings me to tears when he sings "American Soldier"

5. His attitude towards the Iraq War

6. His treatment to our American heroes/soldiers

7. His love for patriotic songs

8. His jean jacket

9. His 12 million more records he sold than Tim McGraw

0. His 2001 American Music Awards performance

I Thought This Was America

I wasn't aware that the times have changed.

My rights as an American citizen have been violated. Last time I checked, I was able to get a drink of water whenever I pleased. Apparently that right has been taken away from me. I am severely parched and am unable to quench my thirst.

Everything around me is turning black. I believe I am on the brink of death and that a sip of water would help me. However, I'm not allowed to walk ten steps up the hall to the water fountain.

I would like to thank my second period teacher for denying me my American rights.

Though some people have lost what the United States is really about, I still have faith in my country. It's also why Toby Keith is my hero. He understands what this country is about.

American Girls and American Guys
We'll always stand up and salute
We'll always recognize
When we see Old Glory Flying
There's a lot of men dead
So we can sleep in peace at night
When we lay down our head

My daddy served in the army
Where he lost his right eye
But he flew a flag out in our yard
Until the day that he died He wanted my mother, my brother, my sister and me
To grow up and live happy

In the land of the free.
Now this nation that I love Has fallen under attack
A mighty sucker punch came flyin' in
From somewhere in the back
Soon as we could see clearly
Through our big black eye
Man, we lit up your world
Like the 4th of July Hey Uncle

Sam Put your name at the top of his list
And the Statue of Liberty Started shakin' her fist
And the eagle will fly
Man, it's gonna be hell
When you hear Mother Freedom
Start ringin' her bell
And it feels like the whole wide world is raining down on you
Brought to you Courtesy of the Red White and Blue

Justice will be served
And the battle will rage
This big dog will fight
When you rattle his cage
And you'll be sorry that you messed with The U.S. of A.
'Cause we'll put a boot in your ass
It's the American way

Missed Senior Dinner Dance so I could Blog!

What better way to end the day than to make a list of things I have never done but would like to? Exactly, nothing.

1. Visit a Toys R' Us
2. Swim with a whale
3. Drive across Canada
4. See Eerie, PA
5. Learn to scuba dive
6. Walk into WalMart and walk out with nothing
7. Learn all the words to the Gettysburg Address
8. Watch all seasons of The Nanny in a row over a weekend.
9. Read and understand Oliver Twist
0. Accomplish it all by 30

Poe-Um!

Someone made a comment to me the other day about subtly. Then later that day I was sitting in class, bored, and started writing. This is what came out. I don't like it that much, but I needed a blog. Ha. It was either this or a poem about why I hate/despise/fear/loathe bunnies.

These subtle moves may be nothing,
Because the lies are forgetting
To keep the truths from being free,
But the truths walk so aimlessly
For no one is remembering.

Scared people face away, shying
From the light because its blinding
In the darkness of the alley.
These subtle moves…

Fear lives in their hearts, beckoning
With the comfort of darkening
Arms hiding the hurt from gloomy
Lives, there are so terribly many.
Afraid, no one is defying
These subtle moves....

I've Lost That Loving Feeling

Dear Glenn Beck,

On most nights I find myself being drawn to your show at 5 o'clock. I generally find myself agreeing with your libertarian perspectives and opinions.

However, creating a mockery of the Rocky series made me hate you. A lot.

Now I must find something else to occupy my time from 5-6 every night.

It used to go something like this:

1. Judge Judy 4-5
2. Glenn Beck 5-6
3. Reno 9/11 6-7

NOW MY SCHEDULE IS ALL OFF.

I HATE YOU GLENN BECK.

Love,
Tara.

The Whales Are Back In Town

Sightings on the almost extinct Right Whale were discovered off the shores of Cape Cod. I was so excited that I wrote a song about it! Enjoy!

Guess who just got back today?
Them almost extinct whales that had been away
Haven't changed, haven't much to say
But man, I still think them whales are crazy

People were asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
Told them you were living in the Pacific
Driving all the old fish crazy

The whales are back in town
The whales are back in town
I said
The whales are back in town
The whales are back in town
The whales are back in town
The whales are back in town
The whales are back in town
The whales are back in town

Hopefully The Plane Won't Crash

I just booked my flight to San Juan, rented a hotel for two weeks, finished the paper work on my rental car, got tickets to different museums, booked a sure-footed horse, and saved up three grand!

Senior Week here I come!

Not really.

Want Some Snail Mucus?

You better say no! There is an outbreak of snail mucus related diseases hitting Florida. It all started with a man named Charles. Charles is into practicing African rituals, and one of those rituals involves drinking snail mucus. YUMMY!

Well, all of Charles' dedicated followers are not trying to have him arrested. Apparently, the snail mucus is making people ill. They are losing weight and forming unusual lumps on their stomachs. How they differentiate usual bumps from unusual bumps is a mystery.

Charles brought these large snails to America the illegal way. The snails aren't allowed in the US without special permission because they are dangerous. Charles obviously built his own boat and sailed the seven seas to bring these snails to Florida. There is NO way he put those snails on an American plane and snuck them into the country.

Word just in: Charles brought the snails to Florida on an American Airlines flight.

I support Charles, and see no reason why he should be punished for his behavior. Some people like pizza and some people like snail mucus.

One Day

I will have Axl Rose's children.

And he will teach them how to do the snake dance while they sing.

Visuals Around My House

My bed

My shorts
Image on my cake every year

First baseball I hit a homerun with

My backyard

People Need to Step it Up

There are currently no good news worthy stories happening around the country. I almost lowered myself down to a level where I was going to check out world news.

WORLD NEWS!

I hate the world news therefore I never look at it. But today, my mouse was one click away from hitting that "world" button on cnn.com. I cannot believe this day has come. I look forward to one thing everyday: Looking at what our country's intelligent men and woman have done so that I can honor them by writing a blog.

So, I apologize to all of my millions of readers. But know this; I haven't let you down...

America has let you down.

Creativity Gets You Places...Like Jail

For instance, it got Juan Perez and Jorge Fernandez from Georgia to California with over ten thousand dollars worth of heroin in their car. They went through numerous police checks and were never busted. These creative men hid the heroin, crack, and marijuana in juice boxes.

I think it's great that our nation's drug sellers are coming up with new, inventive ideas. The old standard way of transporting drugs is so boring and outdated. Hiding them in juice boxes is a new, creative spin on things.

How were these creative men caught, you ask? When they hit their destination in Santa Barbara, California, they dropped two juice boxes on the ground and a "mysterious" white substance dribbled out of them. A woman standing nearby alerted the police and our creative drug carriers were promptly arrested and hauled to jail.

Now, it's time to talk about how they could have gotten away with their criminal acts!

The way I look at it, they were doing fine until they hit the great state of California. After that, everything went down hill. Here are steps these men could take next time to ensure they don't get caught:

1. Don't fill the juice boxes up to the very top with the crack. You never know when you are going to drop them. The less that is in them, the less of a chance that people will figure out what is in the box.

2. Use a child for distraction. No one gets suspicious if a child is carrying tons of juice boxes. But people raise their eyebrows when two grown men are walking around with juice boxes.

3. Empty out the juice boxes before you put in the drugs!

Oh yes, I went there. Juan and Jorge are threatening to bring a lawsuit against Nestle Juicy Juice because THE JUICE DISSOLVED THE COCAINE!

Enough said.

The Nine Rules of Life

1. Lock your doors at night, or don't complain when someone robs you.
2. Speed up at yellow lights to ensure everyones safety.
3. Only drink and drive on Tuesdays.
4. Show up to school on time or face the wrath of a sharp dressed man.
5. Don't write inappropiate blogs.
6. Never argue with your mother when she tells you you're best friend will be pregnant by 15.
7. If you're going to try and drink through your nose, make sure it's water and not a liquid that burns.
8. Don't live in a playhouse.
9. DON'T PROVOKE A BEAR WHEN DRUNK!

What caused this urgent message? SOMEONE PROVOKED A BEAR WHEN THEY WERE DRUNK.

I applaud them. They had the courage that not many people do. Granted, that courage was caused by high levels of alcohol, but that shouldn't matter.

Of course, the genius who provoked this bear at the Lincoln Park Zoo is now suing because she lost some fingers. Big deal.

Her case will continue to be pending until she is released from the drunk tank at the county jail? Or is Mifflin County the only place that has drunk tanks?

Hmm...I'll research it!

I hope we all learned a valuable lesson here.

My New Lover

Recently, I have discovered a new sense of joy in my life. For years I have been left with an empty void in my heart. I searched and searched for something to fill the void, to make me whole. I thought I would have to give up hope. No matter how good or bad things ever got, I was left with a strange desire for more. However, I could never figure out what this "more" feeling was...until today.

Today, I found the missing piece. I found the only thing that can make me feel complete in life. I found pancakes.

Pancakes are the sweet, delicious substitute to drugs for me. They are my perfect drug. Sure, I've had my share of pancakes in the past. Never have I ever experienced pancakes like the ones I had this morning. I could write a book.

Summary: Today, I had the best pancakes ever. My life is now complete.

Random Poetry = My Fave!

So, as I pondered what to write about in this post, I came up with nothing. Since I didn't want to let down my loyal readers and followers who all have a shrine dedicated to me, I decided to share some poetry! This talent will consume you with jealousy. Beware!

On Monday you stitched the broken bones
The shadowed fear that Karma chose
Monopolize these crimson waves
The doll on the shelf; it's child's play

Starlight crawls through the rips in the blinds
Dixie-cup ridden stairs lead to violet sky
On Tuesday I traced your sun-faded scars
Spit your shadows; night's fury and charm

It's Wednesday when you sang to the stars
On Thursday we seemed a mile apart
Crescent moons sprinkle the heart of your hips
Laugh at God: the lightening missed

You drown standing up, you stumble with grace
The Vanity spilled onto Modesty's lace
Sharpen regret and leave hope's letter
On Friday, I took it (but the guilt tasted better)

You took the train to the end of the ocean
Sent a get-well-card to that "destiny" notion
Sold your soul to the heavens 'cause the devil don't want it
Stole your heart from the devil 'cause the heavens don't got it

Saturday found a shattered bottle of whiskey
And you told the bullet you wished it would kiss me
Your electrical heart beat better pray to the sun
Too bad you choked on the barrel of the gun

Sunday never came.

So, I'm thinking to just post random poetry once a week. It's my favorite thing to do in my free time, like through the hours of 8am-3:10pm Mon-Fri.

Hey, I'm 72 and a New Mother!

Yeah, you read that right. A 72 year old woman gave birth for the first time last week in Florida to a baby boy.

To make you giggle even more, the daddy is only THIRTY THREE!

WHY IS A THIRTY THREE YEAR OLD WITH A SEVENTY TWO YEAR OLD?

I support them.

I hope they have a long, happy, healty, life together. They no doubt, will.

But, with all good things comes some negative nancies.

There is an ongoing debate about whether women over 45 should be allowed to have children. Some people think that once you turn 45, if you haven't already, you should be forced to get your tubes cut and tied.

If this ever happens, I don't know what I am going to go.

I WANTED MY FIRST KID WHEN I'M 46!

If this were to perhaps become a law, I'm going to be forced to give up my life and dreams to care for a crying nuisance. I can't possibly be ready to be a mother before I am 46.

My plan was: Kid at 46, twins at 50, another kid at 57, and triplets at 62.

So, Supreme Court, my vote is NO!

Where Are the Sharks?

Reports are in and shark attacks are down for the second year in a row. 37 % to be exact. Now, there is no doubt this is a good thing. Human lives are being spared and they get to live to see another day. But one question remains: What is going on with the sharks? Where did they go?

Like any other time, I have my own theory!

I think the sharks and the whales formed an alliance. It makes sense if you think about it. Sharks always carry a bad rap about being mean and violent, while whales are depicted as being cute and cuddly. When was the last time you heard someone say "Man, I'd love to go in there and play with some sharks?" But you always hear "Man, I'd love to go in there and play with some whales."

So, the sharks got sick of this. They wanted to be viewed as cute and cuddly, too. There was only one thing to do.

Make nice with the whales, who catch over 40,000 pounds of food per day. Surely they can share some with the sharks.

Lets do the math on this.

1 whale eats 40,000 pounds of food a day. One shark eats 6-10 thousand pounds of food per day. There are approximately 500,000 whales swimming the oceans, and approximately 150,000 sharks.

Therefore, Whales eat over two hundred million pounds of food a day, while sharks only eat approximately one million pounds of food per day. If each whale gave up two thousand pounds of food each day, the sharks would have more than enough to eat.

So, I believe the sharks made up with the whales so that their bad reputation will go away.

Maybe one day people will say "Man, I'd love to go in there and play with some whales OR sharks."

*Note* All estimations were based on my limited education!

My movies > Your movies

I just can't tell you how many times I have been asked "Hey, what are your top ten favortie movies?" After answering this question enough times to make me want to blow my beautiful brains out, I decided to make a top ten list. But I guess it's not an actual top ten list because the movies don't go in order from favorite to least favorite. But who really cares? All that matters is that my top ten list is going to be better than Rhonda's. Of course hers has pictures, but I like to let mine up to the imagination.

Here we go...

1. Rocky- I love the entire series. There is something about Stallone that draws me to those movies. Rocky 3 will always be my favorite movie.

2. Grease- I got chills, they're multiplying, and I'm losing control, cause the power, you're supplying, it's electrifyin!

3. Lion King- I have been known to be reduced to tears when Mufasa dies, but that is just a rumor. This is the BEST Disney movie ever made.

4. Green Mile- Tom Hanks is great in any movie, but this is one of my favorites.

5. Stand By Me- There is no specific reason for this one. I just El Oh Vee EE it.

6. Forrest Gump- Though I prefer Tom Hanks in Green Mile, this is my favorite Tom Hanks movie of all time, narrowly beating out Apollow 13.

7. Breakfast Club- The first time I saw this movie I was eleven. I didn't like it at all. I didn't watch it again until I was fifteen. Then it was instant love. Except for Molly Ringwald who I wish would drop off the face of planet.

8. Toy Story- I hated Buzz. I loved Woody. Now it' the other way around. The concept of the movie is genius.

9. Edward Scissorhands- I have to thank my bff Kelly who let me borrow this movie off of her. I didn't think I would like it but oh how wrong I was.

0. Silence of the Lambs- There is something about a brilliant, cunning, psychotic, ruthless killer that I love!

Random Post is... Random

I was reading Rhonda's blog, Letter to Maine, which got me thinking. What is that ties a person to one location? Family? Friends? Familiarity? I just don't understand why someone would want to stay in the same place all their life. There would be nothing new to see or experience. I wouldn't want to walk down the street and see the same people at 30 that I did at 18.

Nothing will ever chage where you grew up. "Home" will always have special meaning, but I don't think thas reason enough to stay in one place forever.

I like Mifflin County. I wouldn't mind living in Mifflin County after college. But before I do that, I'd want to live somewhere else for at least three years. Maybe after the first month I'd miss MiffCo so much I'd instantly move back, but I guess that's something I won't know until I try it.

K, well, just thought I'd share my opinion! I'm off now!

You're Never Too Young

To direct planes.

JFK Airport is currently under scrutiny because a child was allegedly directing traffic at the airport. Of course the media is having a field day with this while the passengers on those flights are having a hard time believing a young child was able to direct traffic.

As bizarre as it seems, there is evidence to support this claim. There are three audio videos of the child giving his directions while the command center sat there and left him do it. The airport could possibly be sued by everyone who went through their airport that day.

Personally, I see nothing wrong with what happened. The child loves planes and wanted to direct traffic for a while. Who cares if he is only nine years old? We all have to start somewhere. He obviously knew what he was doing considering there was no accidents. Give the little guy some credit. It's not like he is secretly working for Al Qaeda.

But even if he was, this kid deserves some props for all that he has accomplished. I just wish I would have started my career as a runway model when I was five, instead of ten. Who knows where my career would be if I started out as early as this kid did.

Point is, the air traffic control people at JFK need to be fired, and this kid needs to be hired.

A Round of Applause goes to....

Chile- I applaud you for having building structures strong enough to endure an 8.8 Earthquake. Haiti, are you taking notes?

Philly Jewel Thieves- Nothing warms my heart more than reading about a couple who rob a jewelry store blind, then leave their child behind. Their should be a holiday in their honor.


Man who ate his lottery ticket- What would you do if you won 15,000 dollars while on a flight? Eat the ticket, of course! I applaud this man for making his point! He wanted his money on the plane, and he didn't get it. He showed them!

SeaWorld- I figured you'd kill the whale who killed that trainer and then I'd have to send you hate mail.

It took me over an hour to find four things to applaud. That's sad.

Shake It Up Baby

On very rare occasions I am not happy and I hate the world.

Take a minute and let your shock register.

Done?

Great!

Through the years I have discovered a few songs that make me....feel better. I was going to say smile but decided that was cliche (Right, Uncle Gary?). There is a long list of songs but I managed to narrow it down to the top ten! Yay me!

1. Sign, Sealed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder.

2. Put a Little Love in Your Heart by The Isley Brothers

3. Top of the World by The Carpenters

4. Dancing in the Streets by Martha Reeves and the Vendellas (though I much prefer the version by Mick Jagger and David Bowie)

5. Ain't Too Proud to Beg by The Temptations

6. Everyday People by Sly and The Family Stone

7. Beautiful Day by U2

8. Brown Eyed Girl by Van Morrison

9. Crash Into Me by Dave Matthews Band

0. Halcyon and On and On by Orbital

So there we have it!

Me > You

It's My Birthday and I'll Rant if I Want To

I do not approve of the following:

CSI
Bubbles
Birds
Rabits
Children
AIDS

That is all.

Snap, Crackle, Pot!

How low does one have to go to lace rice krispies with marijuana and sell to unsuspecting high school students? Apparently not that low. Kruz Hawkins did that very thing and is now sitting in a county jail for his actions. He claims he laced the sweet treats with marijuana because it is an addicting substance and the kids would want more rice krispies. It's a brilliant way to launder money.

I do not lay the blame on Mr. Hawkins. I lay the blame on the high school kids. Why would they buy food off of someone they don't even know? A few of the students came out and said they knew what was in the treats and bought them because that was the only way they could experience a high through the school day. Clever clever!

Just not clever enough. The faculty at the school became suspicious when everyone was walking around eating rice krispies all day. They soon alerted the principal who then alerted the police, who then tested the treats and discovered the marijuana laced in them.

Mr. Hawkin's was simply trying to be a good citizen and give the teenagers what they wanted. Too bad it backfired and he is sitting in jail. Next time he could try lacing cupcakes with marijuana.

No one ever gets suspicious with cupcakes.

Confession Time: Toby Keith's Fault

Someone has been listening to Toby Keith's song "I Want to Talk About Me" a little too much recently. A Milwaukee man reportedly told his cellmate that he was actually the one that killed the twenty one women dating from the early eighties to the mid nineties. The ironic part of the story is that the man was not in prison for these murders, he was in jail for beating his girlfriend severely.

This man went into great detail of how, and why, he killed these twenty one innocent women. It wasn't an act of "violence", it was an act of "free will," according to the alleged murderer. Whatever the case, the man will be going away for a long time.

I just can't help but wonder what it was that was going through his mind when he decided to tell his cellmate about these murders. It's common knowledge that if you are able to rat someone else out, your sentence is reduced. Reporters are speculating that he wanted to gloat or take credit for what he had done. Personally, I have another theory.

I believe that he was sitting in his small cell listening to the radio play. All of the sudden a Toby Keith song came on and this man's ears perked up. Perhaps he was a fan of Toby? I believe he began to sing along with the radio. When he got to the chorus, something inside of him snapped.I would bet his cellmate is the type who always go on talking about himself and never shut up. After hearing the song, the alleged murderer just wanted to talk about himself for a change.

Honestly, if you heard this:

I wanna talk about me
Wanna talk about I
Wanna talk about number one
Oh my me my
What I think, what I like, what I know, what I want, what I see
I like talking about you you you you, usually, but occasionally
I wanna talk about me
I wanna talk about me

Wouldn't you want to start talking about your life? Obviously, the blame for this man's confession lays on Toby Keith's shoulders. You shouldn't write a song about talking about yourself when you know that there are a few million people in jail with a ton of things to confess.

Shame on you Toby.

Hey Mr. Georgia Man

Approximately 3/4 of Americans over the age of six carry a cell phone. This is bad news for fun-loving kidnappers. The government and police are able to track your cell phone and pinpoint you within 150 feet. That means when some nice stranger with candy accidently throws you into the backseat of his van and drives away, all you have to do is hit one button to alert police where you are. Now, after a few hours of no response, it would be best to hit a button again. Of course, with all good things comes people who have lives and love to argue.

"It's a lack of privacy. I can't go out of my house without someone knowing where I am." a man in Georgia proclaimed. That is not the case. All Mr. Georgia Man would have to do is leave his cell phone at home. That would solve all problems, right? Wrong! If Mr. Georgia Man would get kidnapped he would have no way of alerting police of his whereabouts. You either have to suck it up and take it like a man and accept the fact that people from Verizon, AT@T, and T-Mobile will know where you are at all times, or leave your cell phone at home and face the dangers of being abducted and molested. By all means, do what you feel is right.

Not that I like giving my opinion on anything, but I believe all of this is a good thing. Sure, there is the whole "this is a violation of the fourth amendment" speech happening, but really, who cares? Do the amendments mean anything, anymore? Exactly. All I'm saying is that next time I walk outside, I'm going to flash my cell phone so predators kidnap the kid next to me who has no cell phone.

It's Too Late to Apologize

A brilliant man does not always make a brilliant president. A brilliant man can make mistakes. A brilliant man does not know everything. Barack Obama can be classified as a brilliant man. Obama didn't have big shoes to fill when Bush left office in January of 2009, but America had faith. They voted him in to run the country, hoping he could turn things around. Over a year later, it seems he has made things progressively worse. He was held at God status, and when he made the decision on healthcare, that status went away. American's were unsatisfied with his decisions. Few people got what they wanted.

For a year Obama has been fighting to win the support of all of his haters, but with the way he is going, that isn't going to happen. Even his supporters who vocally petitioned for him are starting to scratch their heads, wondering what they were thinking. So while America continues going down the drain, American's are left apologizing about who they voted into office. Don't they know it's too late to apologize?